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  • John DiBartolomeo

SWEAR WORDS

Drag racers have somewhat their vocabulary. Bumping in, catching the drop, rolling out some numbers, dropping it red; all fairly well understood. But there are some other adjectives which may enter into a person’s speech oftentimes when things go wrong, and maybe even when they’re right.


DISCLAIMER: This Blog may come under the heading of NSFW (Not Suitable For Work), or at the very least, bordering on Rated R. But I’ll attempt to keep it clean without really mentioning the words even though I think we all know them and may have been forced to use them during times of distress. Maybe times when we were little and had our mouths washed out with soap.


Comedian Lewis Black has often apologized for his use of the F-word during some of his one-man shows. But during one of those shows in a very cold climate, he explained, “If you walk outside your house, slip on the ice and fall flat on your back… If you don’t use the word F—-, YOU have anger issues!”


That one word may be one of only a few which can be used as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an interjection or an adverb. Pretty universal, I’d say. Now I’ve used that word sometimes rather profusely, but maybe it’s just a generational thing, or that New York/New Jersey upbringing.


There was a time when my kids were growing up and beginning their Facebook usage. My wife suggested I join Facebook to “see” what my kids were posting. As could have been expected, my daughter was livid. “I don’t want you spying on me!”


So, I just watched and kept my mouth shut. Until the day there was one of those annoying “tests” on Facebook which when taken would give you “your main word.” I don’t remember the questions, but after taking it, they said my word was naturally “F—-.” My daughter went running to my wife to tell her, “You should see what Dad’s word is.”


“Hey wait, I don’t want you spying on me.” That didn’t go over well. Anyway…


Let’s face it, we all get aggravated at one time or another. As far as drag racing is concerned; and not to encroach on Lewis Black’s shtick; but if you cut a perfect reaction time and by trying to tighten up the finish line margin, giving up the win light by less than one-thousandth… and you don’t use the word F—-, then you too may have anger issues. Add to that any number of times when things go wrong in your program. Cut double-.00 lights all day and in the final drop it red by -.001? F---! Build a brand new engine and on the first pass, the rods decide to exit their intended inhabitancy? F---!



I crashed one of our dragsters in Gainesville at a time when that track became a skating ring at night, (thankfully that problem has been corrected by whatever they did with a re-pave, but I digress). I actually happened to have a video camera connected to the cage on that run which picked up the sights and sounds of the incident; the screeching, banging and sight of a car slamming into the wall. What it also picked up was after the commotion had ended and the car came to a complete stop was the use of the aforementioned; in this case an interjection; loudly shouted by myself, the word; I think you can guess it. I’m not proud of the fact it was caught on tape, but s--- happens (oh, there’s another one of those “words”).


Look, I’m certainly not advocating the use of these. And I may be shocked (change to: will be shocked) to learn that my two-year old grandson’s first spoken word may be one of the seven dirty curse words as described by another comedian, the late George Carlin. Of course, “shocked” may not be the correct response I receive from my son and daughter-in-law.


But these are all words which have found their way – right or wrong - into our vocabulary. They exist for many reasons, some of which are not of the best intentions, but exist nonetheless. It may have started when we were young and those words were taboo, at a time when getting your mouth washed out with soap existed (Dial soap doesn’t taste that good), but as we aged, we found our emotions to be better captured by the use of them. And I’ll repeat… That’s not to say it’s right but…


Try as we may to not use any of them in our daily lives, s--- happens. Oh, sorry.




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